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Avast, matey! So, sex-dating, eh? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, insurance sleuth, diggin’ into this rum-soaked mess. Picture this—blokes an’ lasses swipin’ fer a quick tumble, like pickin’ a fine rum from the tavern shelf. “I’m not a natural beauty,” says that voice from *Her*, all soft-like, makin’ me think—blimey, these apps be sellin’ love like a ship’s cargo! Savvy?

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At the school, it’s chaos. Kids are running wild, teachers are pulling their hair out. I’m trying to set up a sound system for some event, and it’s like herding cats. I’m losing my mind. One kid even tries to help, but he just ends up tangling the wires more. I’m like, “Buddy, you’re not helping!”

Russian missile strike on central Ukraine kills four, says Zelensky