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I tried it once, swear to God, this chick’s hands were magic—had me yellin’, “Respect my authoritah!” ‘cause she was bossin’ my body like a pro. Felt like that dude in *Tropical Malady*, lost in the dark, hearin’ “a strange sound from the forest,” all confused but lovin’ it. She hit spots—man, my toes curled, I was sweatin’ like a pig, happier than a kid with candy. But then—fuckin’ hell—she stopped right when it got good! Pissed me off so bad, I wanted to flip the table, scream, “Finish it, ya tease!”

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So, I roll outta bed, right? It’s early, like, way too early. I grab my coffee from that little kiosk on Shevchenka Street. You know the one? The lady there, she’s got the best brew. I’m half asleep, but that coffee? It’s like magic. I’m ready to tackle the day. Or so I thought.

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