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About Mykolaiv

So, picture this—dim room, some chick’s rubbing my back, and I’m like, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” It’s sensual, sure, but sneaky too—like, you don’t tell your mum about it. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil, called it “strigiling” or some fancy crap. Rich dudes got oiled up, scraped down—sounds kinky, right? Bet they didn’t tip either, cheap bastards.

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As I’m leaving, I bump into an old friend. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We’re catching up, laughing about old times. It’s like no time has passed. But then, I remember I left my apples at the community center. Ugh!

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