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Still, there’s somethin’ about it—like in *Certified Copy*, “We’re all copies of somethin’.” Sex-dating’s fake, sure, but it’s real too. You’re playin’ a role, hopin’ for a spark. Once, I matched with this girl—total nerd, loved fish trivia. We’re talkin’ mating habits of clownfish—sexy stuff, right? I’m thinkin’, “This is it, my soulmate!” Then she bails—says I’m “too intense.” Too intense? Me? I’m just rantin’ about hermaphrodites! Pretty, pretty good rejection, huh?

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So, I rush over to help her. She’s got this fierce look, like she’s seen it all. I’m thinking, “Wow, she’s tougher than me!” Finally, we make it across, and she gives me this huge smile. I’m like, “Yesss! I’m a hero!” But then she starts telling me about her cat, Masha. I’m not even a cat person, but she’s so passionate. I’m just nodding, pretending to care.

Little-Known Period of Anti-Jewish Massacres Subject of Recent Documentary