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So, sex-dating’s like divin’ into a sea o’ hot strangers. Swipe, swipe, BAM – date’s on! I tried it, got a story, listen up, matey! Met this lass, all flirty texts, “u up?” at 2 a.m. – classic! We hit a bar, she’s smokin’, I’m sweatin’ like Patrick in a heatwave. Thought I’d score, but nah – she ghosted mid-drink! Rude! Felt like Lisa yellin’ “You’re so STUPID!” at me in my head. Pissed me off, but also – HA! – fair play, girl.

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But then, I get home, and guess what? Mr. Whiskers is gone! I’m freaking out. I’m calling his name, looking everywhere. I’m like, “No way I just adopted a cat for a few hours!” Just as I’m about to lose it, I find him chilling on my couch. Like, dude, you scared me!

Another Roma camp attacked and burned down in Ukraine, with police seeing only ‘hooliganism’