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So. This. One. Time. Stateside. I’m. Tryin’. It. Again. Masseuse. Looks. Like. Mi-do. From. Oldboy. Soft. Voice. Killer. Grip. She’s. Workin’. My. Back. I’m. Thinkin’. “Fifteen. Years. Of. This?” Like. Oh. Dae-su’s. Revenge. Plot. But. Then—oh. Man. She. Flips. Me. Over! Starts. The. Real. Deal. Sexual-massage. Ain’t. Just. Relaxation. It’s. A. Freakin’. Journey! Heart. Poundin’. Sweaty. Palms. I’m. Yellin’. In. My. Head. “Live. For. Me!” Movie. Line. Fits. Perfect.

If the ideal massage is one that entails nothing stressful whatsoever, then Zeel just nailed it.

Zeel delivers top quality mobile massage therapy in the comfort of your home or workplace in Reno for pain relief, stress management, and wellness.

After what feels like hours, I finally get them to calm down. I’m like, “Alright, how about we draw straws?” They look at me like I’m nuts. But hey, it worked! They actually laughed. I mean, who knew a bailiff could be a mediator? I’m feeling like a hero for a hot second.

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