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So, picture this: you’re on Tinder, Bumble, whatever—scrollin’ like a madman, yeah? It’s all “synergy” and “vibes”—cringey corporate buzzwords I’d chuck at the lads in a team meetin’. “Let’s leverage them endorphins, boys!” I’d bellow, laughin’ me head off. But serious, sex-dating’s a game—half the profiles are fake, catfish city! Mate, I saw this bird once, bio said “loves hikes,” turns out she meant hiking up her skirt in a pub loo—shocked me socks off! Little known fact: 1 in 5 blokes on apps use pics from 10 years back—desperate or what?

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m like, “Let’s hit up the pub on Kostiantynivska Street.” I need a drink after this wild ride. We get there, and it’s packed. Everyone’s buzzing about the weather and the pigeon incident. I’m telling my stories, and people are cracking up. It’s like a mini comedy show.

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