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Sometime I dream, me with escort, she say, “Borat, you king!” and I give her goat as tip. Ha! Exaggerate, yes, but fun in head! Real talk – escort world crazy, full of secret. Like, some use code word, “roses” mean dollar – 200 roses, 200 buck! Sneaky, huh? Very nice!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I’m talking about those sweet buns that make you forget your diet. I ordered one, and the lady behind the counter, bless her heart, dropped it. Like, splat! Right on the floor. I was like, “Noooo!” But she just laughed and said, “Don’t worry, I’ll get you another.” I mean, who does that? I was happy, but also kinda mad. I wanted that bun!

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