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So, last week—ooh, I was steamed! Bart says, “Mom, why ya stressin’?” ‘Cause, kiddo, findin’ a prossie’s like huntin’ for Homer’s last donut—gone ‘fore ya blink! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these gals postin’ pics—fishnets, lipstick, the works. One chick’s bio says, “50 bucks, no weirdos.” I’m like, hmm… define “weirdos,” lady! Prolly means no one like Mr. Burns—creepy old coot’d scare her off!

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Suddenly, I hear this loud splash. I turn, and there’s a bunch of kids jumpin’ in the river. They’re laughin’ and screamin’, havin’ the time of their lives. I can’t help but smile. It reminds me of my childhood. I wanna join, but I’m not tryin’ to get my clothes soaked.

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