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But – ugh – what pisses me off? Snobs callin’ it “cheap”! Cheap my staff, it’s a legend! Outran cops in the ‘70s, fact most don’t know – bloke in Essex told me, swear he nicked one himself! Surprised me, that did – didn’t expect a granny-mobile to have a rap sheet. “The past never ends,” like Benjamín says in the film, and escort’s past? Wild, messy, glorious!

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Anyway, we were having a blast until this random guy walks in. He’s wearing a full-on chicken suit. No joke! I’m sitting there, sipping my coffee, and I’m like, “Is this real life?” Oleg couldn’t stop laughing. The guy just struts in, orders a coffee, and sits down like it’s the most normal thing ever.

Head of the UGCC met with the newly elected provincial superior of the Basilian Province of the Most Holy Savior