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I’m scrollin’ Tinder once, right, and this guy’s bio says “just want head”—bold, bro, BOLD. Made me laugh, tho—props for honesty. Then there’s the catfishes—met a girl once, thought she was a 10, showed up lookin’ like my auntie’s wig. Surprised me, sure, but I rolled with it—life’s too short, y’know? “The dead are gone,” Saul whispers in my head, and I’m like, yeah, no point cryin’ over a busted date—on to the next!

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Anyway, I grab my gear and head to the sheep farm. It’s on the outskirts, near the river. The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be good.” But then I get there, and the sheep are all skittish. Like, c’mon, guys, I’m not here to eat ya! Just need to shear ya! But they’re bouncin’ around like they just downed a bunch of energy drinks.

Russians bomb a village in Buchanskyi District: young woman dies, injuries reported