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Funny bit – folk lie ‘bout their height, always! Add two inches, ha! Short kings out here catfishin’! And the pics, ugh – filters so thick yer datin’ a cartoon! Reminds me, “What’s hidden, preciousss?” – like Haneke’s film, all mystery, no answers! Sex-dating’s a puzzle too – is she real? Is he a perv? Once saw a lad post his *wang* as his profile, bold as brass! Laughed me arse off, then blocked him quick!

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I popped into a little shop on Shevchenka Street. They had these amazing pastries. I grabbed a few, because why not? Life’s too short to skip dessert, am I right? I sat on a bench, munching away, when I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. Apparently, he forgot their anniversary. Oof. I felt bad for the dude. But also, come on, man! How do you forget that?

Ukraine shelling damages 2 power plants in Russia-controlled parts of Donetsk