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Lemme tell ya, last week—swipe right, hot chick, right? We’re chattin’, she’s like, “meet up tonight?” I’m thinkin’, “How you doin’?”—Joey’s got this! We hit this dive bar, she’s smokin’, I’m droolin’. But—plot twist—she’s got a boyfriend! Just wanted “fun” on the side. I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Made me mad, yo—don’t play me like that! But also—kinda hot? Sneaky sex-dating vibes, ya feel me?

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Then, I get a call. My buddy Vova needs help at his shop on Tsentralna. He’s got this huge glass display that just shattered. I rush over, and when I get there, it’s chaos. Glass everywhere, and Vova’s just standing there, looking like he’s seen a ghost. I’m like, “Dude, what happened?” He says, “I was just trying to clean it!” I can’t help but laugh.

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