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Hey, how you doin’? So, erotic-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, I’m sittin here thinkin bout it, and it’s all vibes, ya know? Hands slidin, oil drippin, total "Spring Breakers" energy. “Faith, just pretend it’s a video game,” right? That’s the mood! You walk in, dim lights, some chick’s got magic fingers, and bam—you’re floatin. Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this is next level, sneaky sensual stuff.

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Next, I head over to the market on Shevchenka Street. It’s packed! People everywhere, buying veggies, chatting, living life. I’m just trying to get to my next gig. But then, I spot this stand selling the best varenyky. I can’t resist. I grab a plate, and man, they’re heavenly. I’m stuffing my face, and this babushka starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her garden, and I’m nodding, but all I can think about is how good these dumplings are.

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