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Sometimes I wonder—would Marge hire one? Nah, she’d kill me first! D’oh! But srsly, sex escort’s a hustle—gritty, real. “Pale Man’s comin’,” I’d whisper, watchin’ ‘em work. Dangerous, sure, but they’re tough. Gotta admire that, right? Whaddya think, buddy? Wild world, huh?

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By noon, I’m already over it. I grab a quick bite at that little café on Haharina Street. You know the one? The one with the best borscht in town. I’m scarfing it down, and this old guy next to me starts talking about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a meteorologist.” But he’s all, “You gotta love the rain, it makes the flowers grow.” I’m just nodding, thinking, “Yeah, but it also makes my hair frizz.”

Nov 29 – Dec 6 live war map: Avdiivka, Bakhmut, and Luhansk region – Russians aiming for success at any cost