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Now, here’s a wild tidbit—didja know in Japan they got “nurumassage”? Slippery as heck, usin’ this seaweed gel—sounds like somethin’ Miss Piggy’d try to wrestle me into! Made me laugh my flippers off picturin’ it. But serious, it’s sensual, slow—like, whoa, chill, world! I’d be all, “Hi-ho, this beats crashin’ through trees!” Once heard a story—some firefighter buddy got one after a shift, said it was better’n winnin’ the lottery. Jealous? Me? Nah—okay, yeah, steamed me up a lil’!

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But we find a decent place, and they’re thrilled. I’m happy for them, but inside, I’m like, “How am I gonna make this work?”

Russian forces attack facility in Sumy Oblast, two injured