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Arr matey, Cap’n Jack Sparrow here, slurrin’ me wit ‘bout sexual-massage, savvy? Picture this, ye scallywags – hands roamin’ like they’re huntin’ treasure, but it ain’t gold they’re after! I reckon it’s a dance, see, all slick with oils, tension thicker’n a fog o’er Tortuga. Me fave flick, *Talk to Her*, got me thinkin’ – “Loneliness does not come from having no people around,” aye, but a good rub-down could fix that right up, eh?

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First off, I’m a financial advisor, right? So, I’m all about numbers and spreadsheets. But today? Today was chaos. I grabbed my coffee from that little café on Haharina Street. You know the one? The one with the weirdly good pastries? Yeah, that place. I was just about to take a sip when I spilled it all over my shirt. Classic me. I mean, who needs a clean shirt anyway?

Air strike damages airfield and fuel depot in Ukraine's Poltava region, says governor