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Favorite part? The thrill, man! That buzz when they say “your place?”—heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, like the dad in “The Return” yellin’, “Get in the boat!” Pure adrenaline! But the flops? Oh, they’re brutal. Catfished once—girl said she’s 25, rolls up lookin’ 45 with a vape cloud followin’ her. I’m like, “Who sent you?!” Laughed my ass off later, but damn, what a letdown. Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes ya win, sometimes ya get a weirdo who asks to lick your elbow first.

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Next up, we head to the market on Kostiantynivska Street. I’m thinkin’ we’ll grab some snacks. I mean, who can resist those fresh pastries? But nooo, this kid’s all about the driving. I’m like, “Dude, we can’t just drive all day! Life’s about balance!” He’s like, “But I wanna be a pro!” I’m like, “Yeah, but you gotta eat too!”

40-mile Russian convoy threatens Kyiv; shelling intensifies