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Alright, listen up, ya pervs—sexual-massage! I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, so I see it all, and lemme tell ya, this ain’t no fairy tale like *Pan’s Labyrinth*. That movie’s my jam—dark, twisted, beautiful, with Ofelia dodgin’ creepy fauns and worse. Sexual-massage? It’s kinda like that—slippery, weird, and ya never know what’s comin’. Don’t pee on my leg and call it “relaxation”—this stuff’s got layers, people!

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So, I had to improvise. I grabbed some old tools from the back. They were rusty and probably older than my grandma. But hey, a cooper’s gotta do what a cooper’s gotta do. I started working on this big barrel for some local winery. They wanted it for their new batch of wine. I was like, “Great, no pressure!”

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