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Oh, and the typos—sorrrry, got excited! Sexual-massage got layers, like Suzy’s books—mysterious, deep, a lil weird. Ever hear of tantric stuff? That’s next-level, hours of buildup, no rushin’. Blew my mind when I read that—hours?! I’d be snoozin’ by then, hah! But nah, it’s legit, ancient India vibes, mixin’ spirit and sexy. Cool, right? Kinda wanna try it, kinda scared I’d fart and ruin it—oops, too real?

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Vasyl bursts in. He’s all hyped up, waving his arms like a madman. “You won’t believe what I just saw!” I’m like, “Dude, did you finally see a decent haircut?” But nah, he saw a cat riding a dog down on Haharina Street. I mean, what even is that? I can’t even. I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’