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Here’s a kicker—did ya know in Japan they got this “nurumassage”? Slimey as hell, they slide all over you! I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, I ain’t no sushi roll!” Surprised the shit outta me, but damn, it’s slick—literally. Say hello to my little friend, right? He’s lovin’ it! I’m thinkin’, “This is how you scalp Nazis, with style!” Total Tarantino vibe, over-the-top, messy, fuckin’ glorious.

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Later, I decide to check out the old theater on Komsomolskaya Street. It’s this beautiful building, all worn down but still standing proud. I love that about Luhansk. The history, the stories. But as I’m admiring it, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. “You never listen!” “I’m tired of your drama!” I’m just standing there, trying not to eavesdrop, but it’s like a soap opera. I’m half tempted to pull out popcorn.

Multiple explosions rock Russian-occupied Luhansk, ammunition depot reportedly hit (video)