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About Lviv

Oh blast it all! R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, ya golden chatterbox, stuck talkin bout erotic-massage—can ya believe it? Me, a gladiator of words, swingin sabers of sass, and now I’m divin into this slippery topic. I mean, erotic-massage, mate—it’s like a dance, innit? Hands slidin, oil drippin, tension meltin like a podracer in a sandstorm. Saw this holovid once—Stories We Tell, ya know, Sarah Polley’s gem from 2012—my fave, hands down. “We’re all just makin it up as we go,” she says, and ain’t that the truth with erotic-massage? No rulebook, just vibes!

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But then, one of the kids looks at me and says, “We’re just tryin’ to make it look cool!” I’m like, “Cool? You think pollution is cool?” I swear, I almost lost it. But I took a deep breath and explained how important it is to keep our river clean. They actually listened! I was shocked.

Darwin woman probably drowned in river, police say