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Humor? Yo, some johns be askin’ for discounts like it’s Black Friday. Bruh, this ain’t Walmart! Sarcasm on deck—I’d be like, “Yea, $5 special, keep dreamin’.” Oh, and peep this: back in ‘09, this escort I knew worked a politician. Dude18 got pics—dude swore he’d never tell. Swear to God, she said, “I’m takin’ this to my grave.” Next day? Busted. Hilarious, fam. Sex escort life’s a movie, and I’m just tryna catch the plot. “I can’t stop looking at it”—that’s me, starin’ at this world, tryna understand. YOLO, tho—live it, love it, laugh it off. Peace.

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Then, boom! My phone buzzes. Some commotion near the market on Hrushevskoho. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I get there, and it’s a full-on circus. People yelling, kids crying, and I’m just standing there like, “What the heck is going on?” Turns out, some dude tried to steal a bike. A bike! Like, really? In Krasyliv?

U Are the Universe