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Surprised me too, how deep it goes—there’s this story, prolly half-true, ‘bout an escort in Vegas who’d only take clients if they’d watch old black-and-white flicks with her first. Said it “set the mood.” Cracked me up, thinkin’ ‘bout her sittin’ there, smokin’ a cig, quotin’ Bogart while some dude’s like, “Uh, okay?” Weird flex, but I respect it.

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But then, my peace is shattered. One of my sheep, Baa-bara (yeah, I named her), decides to wander off. I’m like, “No, no, no! Not today!” I chase her down Vulytsia Tsentralna, and let me tell you, I’m not built for sprinting. I’m huffing and puffing, and Baa-bara is just trotting along like she owns the place.

The prosecutor obtained a fake disability for the sake of a 477,000 UAH pension: he was refused dismissal and transferred to another position