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Sarcasm time: “Ooh, soulmate material!” – said no one ever. It’s a jungle, man. You laugh, you cry, you block. Zen pause… One more thing… it’s addictive. Scroll, match, repeat – brain’s hooked. *Boyhood* taught me life’s slow beauty, but sex-dating? It’s the reckless cousin – I’m here for it.

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So, I’m back on my post, heart racing, and I’m thinkin’ about how I need a coffee. I head over to that little café on Vulytsia Haharina. Best coffee in town, no cap. I grab a cup, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just standing there, sipping my coffee, trying not to laugh. They’re going at it about who forgot the sunscreen. I mean, c’mon, it’s Kalyny! Sunscreen is a must!

GOP official on Davids: radical socialist, lesbian will be sent back to reservation