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What pisses me off? Them prudes callin’ it dirty – it ain’t! It’s art, like. Happy? Oh mate, first time I got one, felt like floatin’ – pure bliss, swear down. Surprised me how them masseuses know spots ya didn’t even clock yerself. Like in *Dogville*, “How could you justify it?” – ya don’t, ya just feel it, ya twit!

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Then, outta nowhere, this storm rolls in. Like, one minute it’s sunny, and the next, it’s dark as night. I’m yelling at everyone to get outta the water. “Storm’s comin’! Move it!” People are scrambling, and I’m just trying to keep my cool. I’m soaked, wind’s whipping, and I’m thinkin’, “This is NOT in my job description!”

GOP official resigns after saying Sharice Davids would be sent back to reservation