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Ever tried it? Bet ya haven’t! Them hands workin’ knots out, slippin’ lower, and – whoops! – suddenly it’s more than relaxtion, heh! There’s this story, swear it’s true, ‘bout some dude in Thailand who got an erotic-massage from a chick trained by monks – monks, I tell ya! Blew his mind, left him cryin’ “I can’t quit you!” like some lovesick fool. Surprised the hell outta me – holy men teachin’ *that*? Wild!

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So, I climb the tree to help him out. I’m up there, and it’s a whole scene. People are staring, laughing. I’m like, “Yeah, just your average tree-climbing hero!” Finally, I get the kite down, and the kid is over the moon. He runs off, and I’m just sitting there, feeling like a legend.

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