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Exaggeratin’ here, but imagine me tryin’ it. “Homer Simpson, escort supreme!” I’d trip over my shoes, spill beer on her dress—total disaster! Marge’d kill me, “HOMER, YOU IDIOT!” Ha, I’d be the escort who naps on the job. “Zzz, call me when the date’s over!”

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down to the river. The Dniester is looking pretty today, all sparkly and stuff. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, a group of kids runs by, playing tag, and one of them trips and falls right in front of me. I’m like, “Oh no!” But he pops up, laughing, and I can’t help but chuckle too. Kids are resilient, man.

All residents of the village Ispas were named Righteous among the Nations