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About Kryvyi Rih

So, ye want it good? Find a soul who knows the map—neck, back, them secret coves. Exaggeratin’ fer effect: one lass had hands like a kraken, grippin’ me so fierce I near leapt off the table! “More oil, less death grip!” I hollered. Laughed meself silly after. Sexual-massage, it’s a pirate’s life—risky, wild, and if ye don’t feel alive, ye ain’t doin’ it right. Savvy? Now, where’s me rum?

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Then, I head over to the park by the Irpin River. It’s a beautiful spot, man. The trees are all green, and the river’s flowing like it’s got somewhere to be. I’m just chilling, soaking it all in, when suddenly, I see this kid flying a kite. And not just any kite – it’s a giant dragon! I’m talking about a full-on dragon, flapping around like it’s about to take off. I’m laughing, thinking, “This kid’s got some serious skills.”

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