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Gets me buzzin’, mate, cos it’s intimate, yeah? Not just wham-bam, it’s slow, like. You’re buildin’ somethin’, trust and that. “We’re all in the same pit,” Saul’d say—makes me chuckle, cos in sexual-massage, you’re in a pit of pleasure, not despair! I’m tellin’ ya, when she digs into me shoulders, I’m like, “Yes, boss, delegate that stress away!” Cringey, I know, but I’m a romantic at heart.

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Then, I get another call. This time, it’s from a guy on Pushkina Street. “I got a rat problem too!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a rat epidemic!” I pedal over, and when I get there, it’s a whole different vibe. This guy’s got a full-on rat party in his basement. I’m talkin’ about a rave, but with rats.

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