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About Kharkiv

I’m strollin’ – thinkin’ about Larry Gopnik. Poor schmuck – wife dumps him. Me? I’m happier – scopin’ tail. Found this chick once – total knockout. Red heels – clickin’ loud. Asked her – “How’s business?” She laughs – “Mister, it’s a mitzvah!” Straight outta the Coen flick – I swear. Cracked me up – sharp gal. But – damn – prices? Pissed me off. Fifty bucks – for what? Quick hustle – no soul. Greedy – like Sy Ableman stealin’ your life.

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The meeting went surprisingly well. We clicked, and I felt like a rockstar. But then, right after, I got a call from my mom. She’s like, “Did you hear about the new café on Kostiantynivska Street?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m busy!” But she wouldn’t let it go. Apparently, they have the best pastries. Now I’m thinking about pastries instead of work.

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