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So, last week, right, I tried it – proper mad, I was! Some lass with magic fingers, swear it! She’s kneadin’ me back, me legs, me – well, y’know. Felt like heaven, then bam – she charges me double! Filthy thief! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I yells in me head, but I paid, didn’t I? Cos it’s good, too good. Relaxes ye, gets the blood pumpin’ – little fact, yeah? Them doctors say it boosts yer happy juice, sero-somethin’. Made me happy, then angry – why’s it gotta cost so much, eh?

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An easy way to have sex with a Filipina is to visit a massage parlor that offers extras. These places are called Spakols and are scattered around the city. When you walk in they seem like .

After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. The Dniester River, to be exact. It’s beautiful there, especially when the sun hits the water just right. I plopped down on a bench, just vibing. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a dog. The dog’s got a stick, and the kid’s yelling, “Come back, Max!” Classic. I’m thinking, “Man, I wish my life was that simple.”

The Rebel Academic: The Life and Work of David Cesarani (David Silberklang's Remarks)