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About Lviv

So, erotic-massage – it’s old as fuck. Ancient Greeks, them horny bastards, rubbed oil on each other, callin’ it “healin’.” Healin’ my ass, they just wanted to bone! True story, found some scroll sayin’ it boosted “vital energy.” Vital energy? Motherfucker, it boosts somethin’ else, ya feel me?

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After the service, I thought I’d grab a coffee at that little café on Kostiantynivska. You know the one? The one with the weird paintings? Yeah, that place. So, I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam. But the barista? She’s like, “We’re outta foam.” Outta foam?! What is this, a foam shortage? I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “C’mon, Holubivka, get it together!”

Russian forces breach frontline river in Ukraine’s Kharkiv region