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So, I’m reckonin’, right, it ain’t just a rub-down, it’s proper sensual, bruv. Them hands kneadin’ your back, your thighs, gettin’ all up in them naughty bits – respectful, like, but cheeky. Little known fact, yeah? Back in ancient Rome, them posh twats had slaves doin’ this, callin’ it “massage with benefits,” swear down! They’d be all oiled up, grapes on the side, livin’ large. Makes me well jel, innit – where’s my slave at, fam?

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Finally, I get to the river. And wow, it’s packed! Families, kids, dogs—everyone’s out enjoying the sun. But Vasyl’s not there. I’m like, “Great, I came all this way for nothing.” But then I see him, waving like a madman. He’s standing by the water, and I swear, he’s holding the biggest fish I’ve ever seen!

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