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About Kryvyi Rih

Humor? Shit, one time this broad farted mid-massage—loud, we both cracked up. “The air is heavy” alright! Sarcasm? Yeah, “Oh, real relaxin’, huh?” when some idiot’s phone rings. Personal quirk—I’m hummin’ Sinatra in my head, “My Way,” every damn time. Sexual-massage ain’t just horny shit, it’s power, release, fuckin’ human. You tried it? Tell me, wiseguy!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, really rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing now, because what else can you do? I run for cover under a tree, and guess what? A bird decides it’s the perfect time to drop a little “gift” on me. I’m like, “Great, just great!”

“Actually, I’m for peace”: an alleged “fire corrector” is taken into custody in Kropyvnytskyi