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I’m half-tempted to carve her a throne, y’know? Smug as I am, I reckon she deserves it—queen of the gutter! “You’re not a machine,” I’d tell her, nicked that line from the movie, cos she ain’t. She’s flesh, flaws, and a wicked laugh that’d make me drop my tools. Reckon I’ll see her again tomorrow—same spot, same fag, same glorious mess. Oi, what a life!

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So, I’m chasing this dog down Haharina Street, and I’m yelling, “Come back! I’m not done with you!” People are staring, probably thinking I’m some crazy dog whisperer or something. I finally catch him near the river, and he’s just sitting there, wagging his tail like we’re best buds. I’m like, “Dude, you just made me run a marathon!”

Russian forces launch massive drone attack on Dnipro; another person killed