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“Moolaadé” has this line – “Purification is a lie!” Fuckin’ A, it is! Sex-dating’s honest, no fake purity crap. Just lust, bam, sorted. Tho, I wonder – am I too old for this? Nah, Gandalf’s still got spark! Once matched a hobbit-lookin’ gal. Short, hairy feet, my type! Laughed my arse off, then shagged. Surprised me how fun it was.

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After that, we head to a café on Kostiantynivska Street. I need a breather. I order a slice of that famous honey cake. It’s like heaven on a plate. But then, Vika starts talking about her next big project. She wants to do a charity event. I’m thinking, “Great, more work for me.” But then she says it’ll be in the old town square.