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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escorts, huh? Freakin’ sweet deal if ya ask me. Some dude pays for a hot chick to hang out—way better than sittin’ alone like a loser! Reminds me of *Her*, ya know, that movie where Joaquin’s all “Oh, I love my AI girlfriend!” Escorts are like that, but real—flesh, boobs, the whole package! “I’m not a mistake!”—that’s what they’d say, struttin’ around, makin’ cash.

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Finally, we finish up for the day. I’m exhausted but happy. I stroll down to the café on Shevchenka Street. It’s packed! I grab a coffee and sit outside, just people-watching. Chernivtsi is alive, man. The architecture, the vibe, it’s all so unique.

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