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Heya, pal! D’oh! Sexual-massage, huh? Man, what a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, like, “Mmm… donuts.” So, lemme tell ya, it’s this crazy thing—hands all over, oil slicker than a pig in mud! Watched “Caché” again last night—y’know, my fave flick, that creepy Haneke joint from 2005. Got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is sneaky like that movie, y’know? “Who’s watching us?”—that line stuck in my head while some chick’s rubbin’ my back! Freaky, right?

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When I get there, it’s packed. Everyone’s laughing, music’s blasting. I grab a beer and plop down at the bar. The bartender’s a cool dude. We start chatting about the day’s events. He’s got some crazy stories. Apparently, someone tried to rob a store on the corner of Kirova. Like, what? In Borzna?

Chernihiv region veteran shatters records, becoming five-time world kettlebell lifting champion