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But the creeps? Ugh, they make me wanna puke. Some johns think they own ya—fuck that noise. Heard a story—dude got his ass beat by an escort with a stiletto. Hilarious! Deserved it, the prick. Little known tale—there’s a code, see? Escorts got rules, like firefighters got gear. Respect’s the name of the game, or ya out. Surprised me how tight-knit they are—crew stickin’ together, like us droppin’ into a blaze.

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First customer walks in. It’s this old dude, right? He’s got a mustache that could house a family of squirrels. He orders a cappuccino, but like, he wants it “extra foamy.” I’m like, “Dude, I can’t just summon foam from the heavens.” But whatever, I whip it up. He takes a sip, looks me dead in the eye, and says, “This ain’t foam, it’s a cloud!” I’m like, “Well, welcome to Bilohirsk, where clouds are made of milk.”

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