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Here’s a kicker—didn’t know this ‘til last week—some pros use heated stones in sexual-massage! Hot rocks on your back, then—bam—shift to somethin’ spicier. Surprised the hell outta me! Thought, “Who’s cookin’ this up?”—but it works, mate. Adds that extra zing. Kinda like when Lester Bangs says, “The only true currency is cool.”—this is peak cool, trust me.

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But then, just when I think it’s winding down, a group of rowdy guys comes in. They’re loud, obnoxious, and I can already tell they’re trouble. I keep my eye on ‘em, and sure enough, they start causing a scene. I step in, and it’s like I’m a referee in a boxing match.

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