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Sex-dating’s messy, doc—thrillin’ but chaotic. Little fact—dudes lie ‘bout height, chicks ‘bout age. Stats say 80% fudge it—hilarious, right? Had this one date—guy said 6’2”, showed up 5’8”. I’m like, “Bro, where’s the rest?!” Laughed my ass off—he didn’t. Made me happy tho—people’s bullshit cracks me up. *Moolaadé* vibes hit me—“The knife cuts deep”—yeah, rejection stings! Ever try it, doc? Bet ya’d swipe left on me—too wacky!

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Anyway, I finally get my pierogi, and they’re bomb. I mean, like, melt-in-your-mouth good. I’m feeling all happy and stuff, right? But then, outta nowhere, I see this stray dog. Poor thing looks like it’s been through a war. I’m like, “Dude, I feel you.” So, I give it some of my food. It’s like, “Thanks, human!” and I’m just standing there, feeling like a hero.

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