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But ooh, when it works, preciousss—sweet as a warm hobbit hole! Met this one lass, wild hair, big laugh—thought, “Maybe she’s my Oscar Isaac tune!” We chats, we meets—boom, sparks! Sex-dating’s a gamble, see? Like Llewyn singin’ for scraps—sometimes ya score, sometimes ya flop. She told me once—little secret, hush!—she faked her age online. Ten years off! Laughed my bony arse off—sneaky, sneaky! Made me happy, tho—humans, so clever, so daft!

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So, I hit up the market on Kostiantynivska Street. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, fruits, and some kinda fish that smelled like it swam through a dumpster. I’m not even kidding. But I’m hungry, so I grab a bun from this babushka. She’s got the warmest smile, and her hands are like magic. Best bun I’ve ever had! I’m munchin’ away, feelin’ all happy and stuff.

CNN visits the scene of Ukraine’s biggest military gain in months