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I’m pissed tho – some parlors scam ya. Promise happy endings, deliver blue balls. Had one chick – hands like sandpaper. Felt like Vader’s glove malfunctioned. But when it’s good? Oh man, happy as a wookie with a bantha burger. Muscles melt, tension’s gone – “I’ve never felt so alive,” like Samantha says. Surprised me once – dude massaged my feet, found spots I didn’t know existed. Thought, “This guy’s a freakin Yoda.”

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Finally, I wrap up my day at the local pub on Frunze. I need a drink after all this chaos. I order a beer, and the bartender, Sasha, gives me a nod. He knows I need it. I sit down, and it hits me – today was wild. I’m laughing, I’m angry, I’m surprised.

Airstrikes kill more Ukrainians despite grain export deal