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First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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So we hop in the car, and I’m tryin’ to keep it light. I’m like, “Alright, Timmy, let’s hit the road!” We head down to the Xizhi River, and I’m feelin’ good. The view’s nice, the water’s glistening, and I’m like, “This is it!” But then, Timmy decides to hit the gas like he’s in Fast & Furious. I’m yellin’, “Dude, chill! We’re not racing!”

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