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Yo, so I’m out here tryna find a prostitute, right? Like, what even is this gig? Swineherd vibes got me thinkin’—pigs, mud, and now this? I’m strollin’ down some grimy street, smellin’ like regret and old fries. “The Grand Budapest Hotel” got my brain all fancy tho. Like, imagine Zero Moustafa tryna hire a chick— “In the name of concierge!” he’d say, deadass serious. I’m laughin’ thinkin’ bout it, but real shit, this ain’t no pastel-colored Wes Anderson flick.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a car instructor in Xizhi is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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