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Findin’ a pro’s tricky, ya know? Little fact – back in da 80s, dey used to hang by dis diner in LA, called “Lucky’s,” swear it’s true! I’m drivin’, music pumpin’, feelin’ like Monsieur Oscar switchin’ roles, and I spot her – red dress, smirkin’ like she owns da night. I pull over, heart’s racin’, I’m happy as hell, like I just bench-pressed da world! “Your face is your fortune,” I mutter, stealin’ from *Holy Motors*, ‘cause damn, she’s a knockout!

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Finally, I get to the office, and I’m sweating like I just ran a marathon. I plop down at my desk, and guess what? My computer decides it’s the perfect time to update. I’m staring at that stupid loading screen, and I’m about to lose it. I mean, really? Can’t you just do this at 3 AM when no one’s around?

Taoyuan to investigate video of teacher wiping chalkboard with ferret