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So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!

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So, we’re chatting, and outta nowhere, this guy starts braggin’ about his new car. A Lambo or somethin’. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Secovce, not Monaco.” But whatever, let him have his moment. Then, BAM! A loud crash outside. I jump up, heart racin’. Turns out, some kid on a bike just wiped out on Špitálska. I rush outside, and the kid’s fine, just a little scraped up. But man, my heart was in my throat.

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