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So I’m chattin with my girl, she’s like, “Girl, be careful, them streets messy!” I’m laughin, “Bitch, I’m 100% that chick, I got this!” But real shit, I’m pissed—why’s it gotta be so shady? Dudes out here overchargin, actin like they own the block. I’m like, “The truth is out there,” but these fools hidin it! Found this one post, chick seemed legit—profile all sassy, pics on point. I’m hyped, like, “This is my night, y’all!”

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So, I’m hustling down Hlavná Street, dodging people like I’m in some weird video game. Nemsova is usually chill, but today? Nah, it was packed. I swear, I almost bumped into Mrs. Kováč, the nosy neighbor. She was out with her little yappy dog, and I could hear it barking at me like it was my fault I was late. Ugh, I can’t with that dog.

Minister Gajdoš hands over new trucks to soldiers