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*raspy dual voice* My precious! Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie, yeah? Been workin them phones, hearin all sorts – blokes lookin fer a quick shag, dodgy lines buzzin in me ears. Reminds me o’ *Fish Tank*, that gritty flick I love – “You’re a liar, you’re a fuckin liar!” – that’s what I’d yell at them pimps if I could. Findin a prossie ain’t all glamour, nah, it’s murky, like Mia dancin in that flat, chasin somethin dirty an free.

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After the rain, I decide to hit the park. You know, the one by the Myjava River? It’s beautiful there. Trees, birds, the whole shebang. I’m walkin’ along the path, feelin’ all zen, when I trip over a root. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this lady joggin’ by just laughs. Like, thanks for the support, lady! I get up, brush myself off, and keep goin’.

Figure 1: Land use, soil types and mean annual air temperature...